So you are stuck? I understand because I have been there. Let me quess. You can't leave or you left and came back. You let the abuse slide because you were hoping that he or she will be won over by something you say or do to please them. Is this you? Well you might be trauma bonded. I am in the process of writing my book on how to overcome a trauma bond and never end up in an emotional abusive relationship ever again but you are going to have to wait till 2025 for its debut. For now here are some signs of being trauma bonded for you to ponder. If you check atleast 3 things on this list you are trauma bonded.
Feeling trapped in a toxic relationship - unable to break free
Experiencing intense loyalty towards abuser - despite mistreatment
Constantly seeking approval and validation - from the abuser
Feeling like you cannot live without the abuser - even though they hurt you
Communication Patterns- Difficulty setting boundaries - with the abuser
Feeling anxious or fearful - when the abuser is angry
Putting the abuser's needs above your own - at all times
Feeling responsible for the abuser's emotions - even when they are being abusive
Emotional Responses- Feeling intense highs and lows - in the relationship
Feeling numb or disconnected - from your own emotions
Experiencing feelings of guilt or shame - for wanting to leave the abuser
Ignoring red flags and making excuses - for the abuser's behavior
Behavior Patterns
Self-sabotaging behavior - to keep the abuser in your life
Difficulty trusting others - or forming healthy relationships
Feeling like you are unworthy of love - outside of the abusive relationship
Fear of being alone - without the abuser
If you recognize any of these signs in your own life, it may be an indication that you are trauma bonded to your abuser. Seeking help from a therapist or counselor can help you break free from this harmful pattern and begin healing from the trauma you have experienced. You won't become unstuck from other abuse survivors. You need a therapist and a book on trauma bonds. Soon I will have a Christian book published, How to Free Yourself from a Trauma Bond with God's Wisdom. Google Shannon L. Alder on Amazon in 2025 for this new book. If you want to join a Positive support group for abuse survivors check out Shannon Alder's Staying Positive University Facebook Page. It is full of uplifting quotes that will help you on your way. You can also check out my book on Amazon called, The Narcissistic Abuse Bible. It is the only book geared toward Christians needing help.
Namaste,
Shannon L. Alder
