How Narcissists Use Social Media to Hurt You
Thank you for contacting me regarding my book on Narcissism and emotional abuse. I have gotten a few letters that have made me sad. Some of you have been hurt very badly. I want to tell you not to shrink. Your emotional abuser doesn't plan to keep his life private so neither should you. They are going to go on social media and flaunt the new person in their life. Trust me that person is an idiot. They will not be reaching the broken person inside of your narcissist. Remember you did your very best and tried to love them. They just wouldn't let you in. There was nothing wrong with you. So to a few of my followers I say this: Shrinking by falling off social media and keeping your life private is exactly what the narcissist wants. I did say in my book to block your abuser and I think that is true if you can't stop looking him up or if he is violent and maybe stalking you. However, if they are just a benign attention seeking asshole ...then show them your life is amazing without them. They secretly think your pining away for them. Teach them that they are not even on your mind. Go out and put your happiness on full display on your social media sites. The only thing that pisses off a Narcissist more is seeing that you are happy.
If your narcissist is posting pictures of their new love interest then they are doing it on purpose to try and hurt you. Most likely to prove they never cheated, which we all know is just a big lie. What that tells you is they are still affected by your decision to leave. Therefore, they are angry. You have got the better of them. Remember every single post or picture a narcissist puts out on social media has a hidden agenda. It is always to get attention and hurt old exes at the same time. It is a game! Once you see the game like I do all you can do is sit back and laugh at them. They are such an idiot to not get that you see how much you have affected them because they need to post pictures in the hopes of pissing you off. They are most likely stalking your social media sites (aka Facebook page and Pinterest) because they want to see your reaction. Please don't post sad Pinterest posts about them. I have said this over and over again in my book. They don't give a damn about your sorrow. Don't give them that satisfaction! They are sick individuals that have disordered thinking, remember that!
Don't worry about the new man or woman in their life. That person is a fool! Trust me!. They are not better looking than you. They were just an easy lay and someone that bought the garbage they were lying to you about. You are smarter and your narcissist knows it. Trust me they have smeared your good name to this new person and have them buying into their lies. It just means their new love interest is really stupid to believe that guy with a long string of broken relationships was being abused by all those exes. Yep, they will keep up with the victim act and smear campaign.
I get it that it hurts, but don't let it because you narcissist is not going to have a wonderful life with this person. They are going to be the same old broken person whining about their victimization in life. They are not going to become a spiritual giant and they will most likely not value this new person either. You on the other hand have won and if you do the homework in my book you will go on to have an amazing life! I am praying for everyone of you and for the women that were spoken about in my book. I know with certainty that one of you still stalks my Goodreads account. You might not be aware of this but Goodreads has Google analytics for authors, which tells me what city and IPS address is seeing my page and who is liking my quotes. This curiosity of yours has gone on for years. Regardless, I would love to see you go on and have an amazing life because you deserve happiness after abuse. I have no ill will toward you anymore- forgiveness is given. Go in peace. I do ask you stop the illegal activities that continue and you grant me my privacy. Maybe one day you can forgive me also for being such a thorn in your marriage, believe me the issue was not me so much as him. I hope you finally realized that.
Here is a video I came across about empaths, which most narcissist survivors are. It is okay to be an empath. It just means you are a kind loving soul that looks for the best in people. Maybe it is time to rise up to be a super empath, rather than a doormat. Check it out.
Unless you are an author trying to market your books and are forced to display your life at your publishers request then you need to pay a close attention to what narcissism really looks like on on social media.
Here is a video to watch: about narcissists and social media
Still not sure if that picture of his new love interest was posted just to piss you off only-- then watch this about the games narcissists play. It is all a game. Just laugh because it means you make them mad...which means you are affecting them and you got the best of them. I know I did!
Lastly, here is how to handle a narcissist to piss them off:
I will have another scandalous book published next year on a topic related to emotional abuse and boundaries. For now, my next book coming out is another Keto Cookbook. That is coming out in December.
Peace be with you,
Shannon L. Alder